No Need for Mama

You see this boy?

Don't let the diaper fool you. He's not a baby anymore. He doesn't need his mama anymore. That's right, at 14.5 months old, he finally kicked the need for me to the curb. He is officially weaned.

I am saddened and excited at this new juncture in babyhood. It's just weird to so vividly remember nursing ALL THE TIME, to cutting back to three times to cutting back to one, then poof, Holly kept him Saturday night when we had a birthday party, and we just never started back up.

Well, I do think he still has a need for me, just not the same, right?

And now, I guess this means I get to go on my Anniversary trip and any girls' vacation I plan in the future. Right? ::Sniff::

Feeling Down and Out

The last few days have been really hard. We've been battling cold/allergy symptoms over here at Ft. O'Brien. And on top of that, my back has decided to wage war as well.

I have had back pain before, always the lower back. A few advil usually did the trick or a good night's sleep. Well, advil is out. Extra strength tylenol seems like a joke at this point, and a good night's sleep has been hard to come by between cold stuff and baby stuff.

So, needless to say, I am sad and hurting. =( I've missed spending time with my family and barely made it through Easter service at church. blarg.

If any of you mommies have had this type of thing and have any good solutions, please pass them along -- as well as your prayers!

Fake?

I feel like a fake.

It seems like one of my weird dreams where Joe and I told our family that we're expecting a baby of our own so many weeks ago. We decided we would wait until our doctor's appointment to really spread the news. Because, really, only God knows what will happen with this baby.

So, I call, they tell me to wait another month before we can come in. What! A Month! So, we wait.

In the meantime, I feel like a fake. I don't feel pregnant. I don't get sick. I don't really feel that different at all. You would think for something so life altering, there would be some more in-your-face changes. The biggest things I can really tell are that I have more sudden, unknown narcoleptic naps than I usually do...but later in the day or at night. There have been a few times where if I didn't get to a bed or couch in that instant, I was going to be on the floor. And then, I guess, my chest! It's growing, aching all the time. I can really get over that one.

Our appointment is next Thursday. The grandparents-to-be are all excited that they get to finally share the news. I want to be excited too. Because, right now, I don't know what to feel.