Welcome, Sweet Corbin - Part 3

Corbin was beautifully perfect.

The moment I heard his first cries, I was struck at how different he already was from his brother. They sounded nothing alike, and how interesting it was that I recognized and remembered immediately.

He had dark hair, a dimpled chin, and a cry that reminded me of a little cat (not so much the pterodactyl of brother).

He was born at 8:22 p.m. He weighed 8 pounds, 3.4 oz, and 20 inches long...so a little bigger than the 7 pounds the doctor told us at our last appointment.

I was able to feed him right after they cleaned him all up, which was a great feeling. I was also doing sooooo much better than after I delivered Owen. It was so sweet to be able to enjoy my son right after birth, along with our excited family.

Corbin, Joe and I got to great our family, and I got to love on my first born while Mr. C was in the nursery getting checked out and scrubbed over. Owen was pretty excited to get to see me and Daddy again. And Daddy was pretty excited to get to show off Baby to Brother in the nursery too.

We had a pretty long first night in the hospital with waking up baby, getting woken up for medicine and vitals for me and baby, and noise in the hallway. The zombie phase had begun.

All went well health-wise for us both, and we were able to go home Thursday morning. My mom and dad stayed with us through the weekend, then my mom stayed for the next week and help us adjust as a family of four. THANKS MOM and DAD!

Owen has been great. We've had a few bumps with attitude issues and wanting me to hold him and sit in my lap, when there was no way I could. That has been hard for me as a mom to know I can't do everything for my son, whom I have tried to do everything for the last 3 years.

Corbin has proven to be his own person too. He, sadly, is not quite the easy-going baby I had asked for, but I wouldn't return him for the world. He wants to be held most of the day. When he is held, he bucks back and kicks his head out, making it difficult to hold him. And he throws his little head every which way...making it difficult to hold him. See an interesting trend? Wants to be held, but not??? Yeah, it's neat. The kid can pass gas with the best of them too! He nurses pretty well, but falls asleep very easily -- making him want to eat more often because he keeps falling asleep! ARG! Then, on the other hand, he goes on marathon bouts where he wants to eat for like an hour straight. Ahhh, babies....why can't you just have a display screen of what you need?

Corbin Jack, we are so excited to have you in our family. You have blessed us already, and you've only been here for a short time. Welcome, Sweet Corbin, let's do life together. What do you say?

A Labor of Love - Part 2

Well, those nurses were sweet. They said, why yes, we always have room. So around 10 am, they took us down the hall, not to far from where we had the O'Bear, and started to monitor us. Yep, we were in labor.

One of the first things they did was put my IV in to see if my platelets were high enough to get an epidural. This had been a concern the last few weeks, so I was praying we were good to go. If this kid was anything like O, I might be needing that epi sooner than later. My tiny veins struck again. Two nurses couldn't get a vein. UGH. So, they called in the ringer. If she couldn't do it, no one could...um, ok. This sweet nurse was able to do it lickity split, and mentioned "don't be surprised when you see an extra charge on the bill, that's me." Joe and I were not shocked by this pulling from our last experience; we were more shocked that she was joking! Ha!

I was monitored and checked a few times. After telling the nurses that O'Bear was 9.4 lb at birth, they said, "Oh, this kid will just drop right out." They also said he'll be here shortly. Lying liars! Don't believe your nurses on time tables, it's ALL up the the kiddo! It was also confirmed somewhere in there that our sweet second boy was sunny side up like his brother, creating horrible bone on bone back contractions, like his brother. So, I did not dilly dally. When my platelet count was OK'd, I signed right up for an epi.

Then the real fun began. Contractions were hard. The nurses also began the fun of trying to rotate the baby by having me flip from side to side every 30 minutes or so. I also found out that my doctor was not in town, which I didn't know before hand, and was waiting for a visit from one of her partners, and it seems we labored so long, I got passed off to the on-call doctor who I'd never even heard his name before.

It seems though, God knows what we need. Our doctor was calm, irreverent, and had a dry sense of humor. It took our minds off the not so fun stuff going on. Right before the doctor came to see us, the baby's heartbeat dropped very low, very rapidly, so I was also placed on oxygen for the last bit of labor. The doctor suggested a bit of pitocin to get us over the last hump (as I seemed to have stalled out about the same with Owen). Shortly after the pitocin was started, I was ready to start pushing.

As the nurses started to get everything in place, our doctor kept us occupied by showing us pictures of his kids and other patients, telling us odd family stories and filling us in on what he was texting his wife on why he wasn't home yet! Ha!

About four good rounds of pushing, and our sweet boy was here!! And the most amazing thing -- his full head of dark hair! Where did that come from.

Joe and I worked on names when we got to the hospital (again, seems to be our thing). We had it whittled down to Corbin Jack or Jack Alan. Joe wasn't quite sold on Corbin, but I asked to keep it in the running. I had a dream about it, and it just seemed like we needed to keep it. Corbin is Latin for dark or raven. And corban (found in Mark) is a Hebrew word for "a gift devoted to God."

When I saw his dark head of hair, I knew that his name was Corbin.

Welcome Corbin Jack!! Part I

I can't believe it's already been three weeks since we welcomed our sweet new baby boy, Corbin Jack.

This summer was a bear. It was hot. Heck, it was a Texas summer, with more heat in the last month than almost all summer. I was a boring, non-fun, stay-in-the-air conditioning kind of mom to a certain 3 year old. And he still loves me. Pregnancy was starting to become a drag the last few weeks, and as much as I wanted my baby boy to be healthy and well at birth, I also welcomed his arrival ANY TIME HE WANTED TO SHOW UP!

The last few check-ups we had showed O'Baby 2 to only be around 7 pounds. I found this a bit odd, as second babies tend to be bigger, and honestly, it had be worried. I chose to give my worries to God, and let him take care of my fears...He's really good at that sort of thing.

We still had no name. Our house was still a mess from construction in the back room to move big brother. Big brother's school year was about to start. We DID buy a new vehicle that would safely carry our whole family...that also cost a chunk of change. Needless to say, it was a time of unrest for me.

So, on Tuesday the 17th when I woke up at 1am not feeling well, I chalked it up to nighttime prego discomfort. When I woke up at 3am, I thought this is for the birds. When I woke up at 5am, I decided that this discomfort I was feeling MIGHT ACTUALLY BE contractions. I never had any Braxton Hicks with either, and didn't have any contractions til at the hospital with Owen since we were induced, so I was a little slow in the uptake. I decided to go ahead and get up, take a shower and start making Owen's lunch for school. At 6am when Joe got up, I told him, hmmmm, we might need to go to the hospital shortly. I still wasn't convinced this kiddo was coming today and started to worry something was wrong. I know...lots of worry.

Joe's mom was called and was ready to take O to school. My parents were called and were packing to come shortly. Well, after waiting and timing contractions, I called my doctor's office and they said to wait til they were 5 minutes apart before coming in. Ummm, ok. So, Joe and I took O to school, as I started feeling guilty about what was coming for my first born.

We dropped Owen off at school, and he was a basket case. He did not want to be left. So, while Joe comforted, I stood out in the hall willing the contractions to not hurt and my first born to not feel sad. Neither worked, so we left O in the capable hands of his teachers.

When we got back in the car, I had a message from my doctor's office asking to wait til contractions were at most 5 minutes apart and PAINFUL before coming in because L&D was quite busy today. Painful??? Are there nonpainful contractions?

As I was still not quite at 5 minutes apart, Joe asked if we could run down to his work in Grand Prairie to get his computer. Why not, what's a 40 minute trip on a bumpy road in a pick-up when you're in labor. This still makes me laugh. Joe did do a good job of getting in and getting out in just a few minutes. I just had it in my mind he was going to get stopped, pulled into some project and I'd be left out in the truck. 

After the computer was retrieved, on we went to the hospital. It was painful, and well, those nurses were just going to have to deal with us! ;)

(Also, wahoo for my 101st post! Fitting to be for our sweet new baby!)

The Rest of the (Birth) Story

We had done it. We had our baby boy.

And with that, the adrenaline was still pumping. Joe was over photographing Owen and bringing the news to the expectant family in the waiting room.We had kicked everyone out, even my dear mommy, because I didn't want them to have to worry while labor was not going so well. I was cracking jokes with the nurses saying I earned me a Sonic drink for sure, so on and so forth.

Then, the bottom fell out. While my doctor was finishing up with me, I began to shake uncontrollably. I was told this was normal, but it didn't feel normal. I began to get freezing cold chills. I swear I asked them to turn up the temperature, but I don't think anyone heard me. I did not feel good.

As the nurses brought back Owen, Joe and family also came. While some Oooed and Aaahhed over our newest family member, my mom and dad and Joe came right over to me. You see, I matched my sheets. I was white as a ghost. I felt horrible. I had lost a lot of blood and fluid.

I was down for the count.

Usually they move you to a postpartum room after about an hour of delivery. I got special permission to camp out for several hours. So while my family continued to look after Owen, I continued to try to feel better. I was offered several times to take a blood transfusion, but decided we'd wing it and just stick with the extra fluids at this point. Around shift change that night, I was finally rolled down IN THE BED to my postpartum room. They do not do this, you either walk or take a wheel chair. See, told you I had issues.

That night, we had Owen room in with us. I was told not to get up under any circumstances, and I received a nifty "fall risk" hospital bracelet. Joe and I were a bundle of nerves. He got up every 2 hrs or so to change O'Bear's diapers and hand him to me to 'try' to feed. It was a long night, with my nurses coming in to check on me, Owen's nurse to check on him...all the while still feeling puny and Joe exhausted.

But we made it to the morning. A hearing test tech came down to escort Owen back to the nursery for his morning assessment by the nurses and to receive his hearing test. So we said so long to the little man, and waited for family to arrive.

After a little over an hour, we were still missing our little guy. As we didn't know what all they did, we gave them a bit of time, but now, as first-time parents we were beginning to freak out. So, diligent daddy went to go check on our kiddo.

He returned without Owen.

Where was my baby?

Joe informed me that they were running some tests, including a chest x-ray because they believe he had ingested some fluid and was causing an infection and irregular breathing. My heart sank.

When he returned to check on him. They had taken him to the NICU. They had taken my baby away and we didn't even get to give him a kiss.

Thus began a very long week. Joe checked on Owen regularly. I was still very weak and couldn't quite make it yet. When I finally got to see my son, I cried.

Here was my tiny baby hooked up to an IV with a splint on his little arm to hold it in place. An oxygen tube in his nose. Tiny sunglasses velcroed to his head. Sensor wires all over his little chest and foot and swaddled in an incubator with bilirubin lights under and above.

I felt like I had failed my child. Not only did he have a slight infection due to fluid, he also had a very high bilirubin/jaundice levels, which can have very adverse effects if not regulated.

We visited by the hospital's lactation consultant, which I had a total melt down with. Because why did I need a lactation consultant, they stole my baby! (or so I felt.) She put me on a regimen of pumping because I didn't have Owen to stimulate my milk. Also, not good for the self esteem. Awesome Joe had the responsibility of running down any colostrum/milk I had to the NICU for Owen, since they were giving him formula in the meantime. Again, I felt like a failure. My 'breast milk only' baby was on formula, in the NICU and had been given a pacifier to boot.

Over the next few days, his levels increased, decreased and began to level out. We were called down about every 2.5 hrs to try and nurse, and the walk from one side of the building to the other was horrendous.

I had brought my cute pjs, robe and slippers. I was so prepared. But did I care, nope. I lived in that awesome hospital gown. I was barely able to put my slippers on. The best thing was when I finally was able to take a shower. I had never felt worse physically or mentally. (I never put on pants until we left!)

We learned that our little dude was getting better. They transitioned him out the the total-cover incubator to an open one. We lost several wires, the IV and the oxygen. Now we were just on one bili light (still wit the little sunglasses stuck to his head) and hoping for release.

We were informed Thursday evening that it looked like he could be released on Friday. We were sooo happy. So, we decided to spend the night hotel-style at the hospital, since I was officially released on Thursday. This was the best night so far. Since I was no longer under hospital care, we only had the NICU nurse's call to come nurse, not EVERYONE ELSE and their DOG waking us up too.

Friday arrived with an early wake-up call from Owen's pedi. She was ready to do his circumcision. Ugh, felt like a bad parent for putting this on our little dude, but we did, and he did great, not even much crying at all!

Owen's NICU doctor arrived shortly later and said he had passed and could go home. After waiting some more for the final sign-off we were finally able to take our little guy HOME.

We were so happy. Parents Oooed and Aaahhed over him again. But that night was the worst night I had ever had in my life. Owen cried and cried. He was always hungry. I was still so tired, exhausted and sore. I cried and cried and cried. If it weren't for Joe and my mom, I don't know what I would have done.

We had an early AM appointment with the pediatrician to check his bilirubin levels again. And it was so early and so nerve-wracking driving with a newborn! Eeekk! Our dear, sweet pedi asked how we were and I lost it. I was not good. Not good at all. My baby was still sick, my emotions were whack, my body beaten. God blessed us with good friends who referred us to their awesome friend, our pedi. She assured us and comforted us and wasn't offended by my crazy emotions.

Over the next week, Owen and I made a trip back to the hospital every day but one either for him or me. His levels were checked and rechecked. I was checked by my doctor who still wanted to give me a transfusion and wanted to make sure I wasn't having a breakdown. We were close, but did not go over the edge!

We also experienced nursing issues. He just wouldn't do it. I was so frustrated. So we gave bottles, again something every breastfeeding mother frowns upon. So we made an appointment with the lactation department (which was an act of congress for some dumb reason), and were able to work out our issues. I was so happy. It was still hard, but we were managing!

Over the next few weeks, I struggled with physical pain, emotional issues and this new baby hanging around my house. I didn't know if I liked him. He cried ALL THE TIME. I was constantly feeding him ...40 mins ever 2 hours was like I was constantly chained to him. But thanks to help from my wonderful, loving husband, awesome mom and a devoted puppy that followed me no matter the hour, I was beginning to heal.

We definitely had a hard road up to this point, but every day, I learn to love this guy a little more. It is still the hardest, scariest, most constant thing I have ever had to do. Some days I still want to run away, but at least now I want to come back

Owen, you are a blessing. I am so glad you are here. I look forward to every day with you. You are the best!

Love,

Your mom

A Month Ago...

A month ago today I became a mommy. Joe became a dad. Parents became grandparents. Sisters became aunts. And Ryker got the shaft, I mean, became a big brother.

Last month, on a Monday night at 8 p.m., Joe and I made the trek up to LCMC to have our little guy. We went in the night before to be induced. You see, our doctor told us our little guy was not so little, and in the best interest of his mommy, it might be a good idea to come in early. So we complied.

That day, my folks made it in, and I enjoyed a last meal with Mom, Dad and Holly at Johnny Carinos, because I had to stop eating at TWO P.M.! (we won't get into how evil I think that is.) So, Joe and I arrive at the hospital promptly at 8, because we're working on this on-time thing. Funny thing is, not everyone else was. They said, relax it'll be a minute, we've had some emergency cases come in. Well, 30 minutes later we're still waiting, so we go get Joe some Chic-fil-A. We arrive back, ummm, we're still not ready, but you can go wait in your room. Ummm, ok. So about an HOUR AND A HALF later, our nurse finally comes around to get this show started.

I was given a tiny little pill (that did not seem so tiny) to get things rolling along. I also opted for the Ambien sleep aid, as I knew they were going to be waking me up at all hours to check my progress and what-not. So before we drifted off to sleep, Joe also began a list of baby names. Nope, still didn't have one picked out! We got it fairly well narrowed down and figured we work on it some more the next day and decide when we saw him.

I was woken up several times through the night, but thanks to my handy dandy iPod and awesome drugs, it wasn't that big of a deal. At around 4:30 Tuesday morning, I had a weird feeling, called the nurse, and yep, my water broke. (Funny thing, my prego friend Lydia had gotten up around then and said a little prayer for us at about that exact time.) From there, the real fun began. I was given pitocin to help speed the process along. My ambien was nice during the night, as it did let me get some sleep, but then the pain began. It wasn't too unbearable at first, so I opted for the IV pain meds. BAD IDEA. Whatever that stuff was, it threw me for a loop. I was having conversations in my head between me and Joe. But the funny thing was, I wasn't that whacked out that I knew I was doing it, and kept commenting to Joe, "I didn't really say that to you, did I?"

Then, it started not getting so fun, so I did what any self-respecting woman would do and opted for the epidural. I figured moaning "I don't know what to do" and hitting my husband wasn't the best course for the rest of the day, so bring on the drugs. This amazingly helped a lot. The quick-talking anesthesiologist was super quick, and the smiles returned. We were progressing amazingly fast. Nurses and doctor were hedging their bets that we would deliver early afternoon. Joe called his parents at work and told them to hurry on down.

NOTE--When doctors and nurses get excited about your progress and start telling you how great everything is going and how fast it's going to go -- tell them to STOP TALKING.

You guessed it. Everything came to a halt. We hit nine centimeters and decided to camp out. Then the epidural decided to stop working and a horrible pain I have never known settled in my back and around my sides. The nice anesthesiologist came back to help, hit me with a second dose, and sadly it did NOTHING. I was then informed we were not making any progress still and that if we wanted to have this baby naturally, we'd have to PUSH PAST part of my cervix that didn't want to fully soften and excuse itself out of the way. ALL THIS while experiencing horrible pain, screaming my lovely mantra of "I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO," hitting Joe again and staring at the stupid bathroom door handle.

So, we pushed, and pushed and pushed. I was informed several times I wasn't pushing well enough or correctly. Well, excuse me! I'm doing the best I can!!!!! Then the whispering started. When doctors and nurses start to whisper and a whole troop of like 10 other nurses come in and start prepping stuff, you know either you or your kiddo might be in trouble. I did not want my baby to be in trouble, and I did not want a c-section at this point. I didn't even think I could make it through the pain to get to the point of having a c-section the pain was so intense.

So, Joe and I buckled down. I was going to get this kid out. I just remember they kept saying they could see his head, and I kept wondering why it was still taking so dang long! But it came down to a good last 3 or 4 pushes and this weirdest whoosh of a feeling happened and there was a baby.

A BABY! My Baby! Our baby!

Our Owen! I looked at our squishy red and white little guy and knew his name was Owen. Joe agreed, and I told him to choose his middle name, and he chose Daniel.

Owen Daniel O'Brien was born June 15, 2010 at 3:05 in the afternoon. He weighed 9 pounds and 4 ounces and was 20 inches long. He was here. We both were. And God is good.


(There's more to the story to be written, but this, I think you would agree, is the highlight. And can we say yahoo for adrenaline and a bad memory for helping me forget most of what really happened!)